both light and dark are happening right now...i might as well end on the positive so here goes. i uploaded this photo last night when i thought of starting a new entry at the witching hour and what turned out to be the end of a month-long insomnia run (hallelujah!!!!). it's from a water tower in central new york...a while ago now, maybe 3 yrs? i'd forgotten all about it. i think i've been checked out the past two days since the show, kind of spent. i remember my first year of college an actor friend telling me after a school production that she had 'post-partum depression' after her play was over, that her stomach literally ached as if she'd given birth. (being childless i guess she didn't know it's more than the stomach that aches...but then again i am childless too so don't ask me.) but now i get what she meant!i'm also trying not to sink into feeling unsatisfied with how my piece turned out, but it's been hard not to go there. it was so incomplete, despite the crazy amount of stuff. and so overwhelming to deal with so many objects!! i am longing for the most simplest forms now. monochrome. no novels, just haiku.
or, if i ever do set that up again, maybe at the end people just come take what they want, at least. i accumulated a LOT of stuff with my project and organizing it now feels like stuffing a jack-in-the-box back into its box, but an oversized jack that REALLY doesn't want to go back in. very tempted just to drive to the nearest salvation army and drop off all these dolls. or maybe i will just get uber-organized with it into labeled boxes and put it all to rest for a while. but the ideas for it keep coming. i think of some new thing and then just want to scream for it to shut up-- enough already!! this project feels kind of like a monster...mary shelly captured it best, that feeling of birthing something that then has a life of its own. (more birth analogies, god help us all.)
now, on to the positive. i was SO amazed and impressed by all of your work! so many surprises in the final execution. the show came together so nicely-- rich, provocative, beautiful. my only complaint is that we didn't get a chance to kick back after the show and get closure, come down, debrief, however you want to put it, etc...i guess we'll just have to crash otto's show and do it there instead. :)
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7 comments:
hey taf....err...carrie.
first off...i just uploaded our show on blogger so........yeah.
.....and.........
please crash away! i would love for my opening to be a reunion of intermedia!!!
it's funny...your withdraws are definitely duly noted and if i wasn't in such a crunch zone i probably would have been pro-active about organizing something...oddly what came to mind when you were talking about it was my experience playing in bands...you practice forever then load in all your gear...play your set and then you have to unload all your shit back to the rehearsal space while everyone else is still at the bar partying...ah....the, er, good ole' days?
ah, that totally makes sense about the band. it did feel like that! i've had a similar experience with hosting parties-- you're all stressed trying to make sure everyone's set and greet people, etc and so miss the party in some ways. okay that's not really an analogy (didn't have to take care of others in this) but you know what i mean. *but* it's all worth it. it's my first ever installation so i'm in new territory but it'll feel better next time i think.
ps thx for uploading the video- i have to run right now but look forward to checking it out later.
hey carrie-
I feel ya on the birth of something that all of a sudden has a life of its own. Since starting JFK a lot of my work has taken that path, but the beauty of it is when the next class takes it further. Now, almost 2 years later, things have been overlapping and developing within each other.
I vote for keeping the materials from the piece and allowing them to work there way into what may be next. Even if you use them 2 or 3 years from now they still will have such reflection from where you started and the growth that took place. If you're a pack rat like me then it works, but if you need to "clear out" salvation army would be happy to claim your goodies.
To add, I also wish there had been some type of reflection to bring things to an end. Having that time to discuss the "happening" that just took place is important to the process. You're right, it's a nice way to bring closure to the experience this quarter has brought all of us. I think otto's show as a reunion would be fabulous!
Hope I see you there!!!
Tina
tina, thanks for the sweet note. it's reassuring to hear how much others have the birth/death cycle with deadlines or shows-- and cool that your work overlaps into future work. i've had that with other themes so i suppose i should have faith it will happen here too, even if the actual installation idea dies. (not sure it will die, but just supposing it does.)
do you have a final show too? when you do (next year i guess?) be sure to let me know. it'll be great to see the themes and threads you have going throughout your work.
and yes, see you at the otto show crash! :)
-c
i shared this with you already, carrie, but just for everyone else out there- i felt the same way with my first installation (and almost always do). Installation work, IS like an event...not the same as hanging a painting, at ALL. incredibly involved...and part of it. but the feed back here, and yours in person, is good to note as a teacher. seems if we all weren't so incredibly exhausted by the time it was all over, an after hour party might have been the thing...but maybe the final "show" should not be the final class...and some sort of re-meet might need to happen (this esp. in light of the fact that only a few remained to clean up "party table" might require more of a structure for closure, in any event, from a practical perspective.) but ultimately, the experience of pushing and exposing IS incredibly labor-like birth, and seems natural to want/wonder where the feedback loop refills...hmmm, more food for thought. great work, tho, and do NOT throw the dolls out yet. you do have more to do, just not yet. :)
(tho did i ever tell youabout burning the film loops i used after the 5th installation? cathartic.)
thanks, robbyn. no, haven't heard that story, but sounds like one i'd love to hear!
good to know that that feeling is common to installation work...for me too it really highlights my own attachment to 'product,' more present than i'd anticipated since i consider myself a process artist. so in a way this installation stuff is a good way for me to challenge that. i also like painting over old paintings (canvas is expensive!) and want to get back to that practice.
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